Forum 论坛 TIPS FOR LIVING ABROAD 国外生活建议 * Your experiences with intercultural relationships 你跨文化关系的经历 Experiences with intercultural relationships 跨文化关系的经历

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    • #4681 Score: 2
      yumekai2
      参与者
      24 pts

      I didn’t have any intercultural romantic relationships, but I do feel that intercultural romance is quite different, or maybe it is just because individuals are different in different countries. So I was an exchange student at Kean, and in my geography class in the first semester, I had a deskmate. He is American. We didn’t talk much. I only remember that we talked about food, and games on Nintendo Switch, and maybe about our test scores, etc. The only thing that he said every time after classes was “have a good one.” We seldom met in the second semester. After the second semester ended, I received an email from him last June or July. It was really long and at the end of that email, he said, do you know, actually I had a crush on you. I was like, what are you talking about? I didn’t feel anything at that time. Moreover, in the email, he said that he really wished that I could be back next semester, and maybe we can hang out or play video games together. Anyway, I was shocked and confused, because I never thought about it, I didn’t know his feelings, and it is impossible to fly out there during the pandemic. I told this to a friend who also went to Kean, and she told me that there was a boy who also told her something like this. We are both confused because it does make any sense to us.

      我没有过跨国恋经历,但是我确实有感觉到跨文化爱情估计是挺不一样的。不过也有可能不是因为跨文化,而只是因人而异。之前我在美肯交换的时候,第一学期上地理课。有一个美国男生是我的同桌。我们不怎么讲话,好像基本上只讲过食物、Switch游戏,然后考试成绩之类的。我只记得每节课下课他都会跟我说,祝我一天愉快之类的。第二学期我们几乎没怎么见过面,因为选的课都不一样了。在第二学期结束以后,大概是去年六七月的时候,我收到了他的邮件。那封邮件特别长,在最后他说,你知道吗,其实那个时候我挺喜欢你的。我那个时候的反应就是,你到底在说什么?就是我根本完全没有感觉到他当时喜欢我。他在邮件里说,很希望下学期我能回去,这样我们可以一起出去玩或者打游戏之类的。我感觉有点奇怪,因为之前完全没有想到这一层,而且因为疫情也根本不会再回去。后来我把这件事告诉了一个也去了美肯交换的同学,她和我说她的某一节课里另一个男生也这样和她说了。然后我们两个人都觉得很迷惑,因为这就是很让人想不通,美国人到底怎么想的呢。

      Yumeka.

    • #4706 Score: 2
      flxs
      参与者
      32 pts

      Intercultural relationships can be nice. When you have a friend from another cultural background, you can unconsciously feel the differences between your culture and his/her culture in your communication. It can be a good way to understand other cultures better and see things from a different perspective. I still keep in touch with my friends in America. However, even though we are friends, we still misunderstand each other and argue about little stuff. I think the best way to deal with little misunderstandings and arguments is to be straightforward and honest to your friends (or boyfriend/girlfriend). Making things clear and patiently explain to each other can help maintain your relationships with your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend from a different cultural background.

      跨文化关系可以很美好。当你有一个来自其他文化背景的朋友时,你可以在交流中不自觉地感受到你的文化和他/她的文化之间的差异。这可以是一个很好的方式来更好地理解其他文化,从不同的角度看问题。我仍然和我在美国的朋友保持联系。然而,即使我们是朋友,我们仍然会有误解,为一些小事争吵。我认为处理小误会和小争执的最好方法就是对朋友(或男朋友/女朋友)坦诚相待。把事情说清楚,并耐心地向对方解释,这更有助于维护和你有不同文化背景的朋友或男友/女友的关系。

      For more advice on how to deal with intercultural relationships see https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/cross-cultural-relationships
      更多关于如何处理跨国关系的信息请看 https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/cross-cultural-relationships

      flxs

    • #4820 Score: 0
      Sia
      参与者
      3 pts

      我曾经有一段跨国恋经历,对象是一个德国人,温州医科大学的交换生。我们是在酒吧认识的,一开始我们的意见会有很多分歧,很多时候他并不能理解我的意思。对于他来说,恋爱更多是一种及时行乐的态度,但是对我我来说,我可能会考虑更多未来的因素。而且他身上有德国人典型的死板性格,面对很多事情不懂得变通,让我也不能理解。双方的不理解导致了这段关系的结束。
      I once had a cross-border love experience with a German exchange student from Wenzhou Medical University. We met in a bar. In the beginning, we would have a lot of different opinions. He didn’t understand my meaning many times. For him, love is more of timely happiness. But for me, I may consider more future factors. And he has a typical German rigid character, he didn’t know to change when facing things, which make me also can not understand either. The misunderstanding between the two sides led to the end of the relationship.

      Sia

    • #4822 Score: 0
      Sia
      参与者
      3 pts

      我还有一个关系很好的法国朋友,我们认识五年了,依然保持着联系。他是典型的法国人的浪漫理想主义,在和他的交谈当中,我也逐渐被他影响。在遇到困难的时候,或者我不知道该怎么办的时候,我就会询问他的意见。大多是时候我的问题在他看来,都是可以解决的,只要我足够勇敢。很多时候我会缺少信心,但是他会鼓励我让我觉得我是一个很好的人,这是我在与中国朋友的社交关系中没有感受到的。
      I also have a good French friend. We have known each other for five years and we still keep in touch. He is a typical French romantic idealism. In the conversation with him, I was gradually influenced by him. When I’m in trouble, or I don’t know what to do, I ask him for advice. Most of the time, in his opinion, my problems can be solved as long as I am brave enough. Most of the time, I will lack confidence, but he will encourage me to feel that I am a such good person, which I don’t feel in my social relationship with Chinese friends.

      Sia

    • #4844 Score: 1
      gyel
      参与者
      18 pts

      There are lots of benefits from inter-cultural relationships:

      LEARN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGES: Most people would like to learn another language, but they have to sign up for a class and find a way to practice it. If you happen to have relationship with different culture person, you automatically have a language teacher.
      YOUR MIND WILL KEEP OPENED: It has been amazing learning about your partner’s culture, and you will still be learning more every day.
      跨文化关系有很多好处:

      学习不同的语言:大多数人都想学习另一种语言,但是他们必须报名参加一堂课并找到一种实践该语言的方法。 如果您碰巧与不同文化的人有关系,您将自动拥有一名语言老师。
      您的思想将保持开放:了解伴侣的文化真是棒极了,并且您每天仍将学习更多。
      Sigyel

    • #4895 Score: 1
      StephenMMM
      参与者
      1 pt

      I think intercultural relationships are very interesting. I once met an interesting American while traveling. We had a great time together and added each other’s MSN. Our dialogue is very simple, such as discussing the mineral water “Nongfu Spring”. In communicating with him, I can feel the blending of different cultures.
      我认为跨文化关系是十分有趣的。我曾经在旅游时遇到了一个有趣的美国人。我们在一起玩得很开心并且加了互相的MSN。我们的对话十分简单,比如讨论矿泉水“农夫山泉”。在和他的交流中,我能感受到不同文化的交融。
      StephenMMM

    • #4898 Score: 2
      yumekai2
      参与者
      24 pts

      I have an American friend who lives in New Jersey. We used to take classes together, and we hung out sometimes. She told me her mother got covid, which made me feel sad. Because once I gave my friend some Chinese snacks as a birthday gift, and her mother really liked that. I don’t know if there is anything I can do to help, so I just asked her if she needs anything, like masks or medicine. However, I am not sure about her attitude towards COVID-19, I don’t know if she believes the pandemic is severe. I know it could be severe, but you know, people in other cultures think differently, and I am not the type of person who insists on persuading others. So I just asked her, directly, like many Americans, I asked her, do you need anything? Do you believe masks or Chinese medicines work? If you do, I can mail some for her.

      我有一个在新泽西州的美国同学。我们以前经常一起上课出去玩。她告诉我她妈妈得了新馆肺炎。这让我感觉有点难过。因为我想起之前她过生日的时候,我送给她了一些中国零食,她的妈妈吃了以后说特别喜欢。 我不知道有什么是我能做的,就问她你需不需要什么,比如口罩或者药之类的。但是,我不知道她对疫情的态度,不知道她到底是不是觉得新冠很严重,但我又不想说服她去相信这很严重。所以我就直接问她,就像美国人那种直来直往,我问她你有什么需要的吗?你相信口罩或者中药吗?如果你相信的话,我可以给你寄一些。

      Yumeka.

    • #4901 Score: 0
      Broccoli
      参与者

      我很喜欢跟陌生人交朋友,我对各种文化也非常感兴趣,所以我也特别喜欢跟来自不同文化背景的人聊天,我喜欢了解他们的文化和习俗。我曾经有过去突尼斯做志愿者的经历,在那里我认识了来自不同地方的很多朋友,我室友分别来自荷兰,加纳和阿尔及利亚。他们都是很好的人,我们经常在一起分享自己故事并成为了很好的朋友,通过他们我充分了解伊斯兰和非洲的各种文化,这极大开拓了我的眼界。I like to make friends with strangers very much, and I am very interested in different cultures, so I also like to talk with people from different cultural backgrounds, I like to learn about their culture and customs.I once worked as a volunteer in Tunisia, where I met a lot of friends from different places. My roommates were from the Netherlands, Ghana and Algeria.They are very nice people. We often share our stories together and become good friends. Through them, I fully understand the various cultures of Islam and Africa, which greatly broadens my horizon.

      Gabriel

    • #4903 Score: 0
      Soleilin
      参与者
      20 pts

      I have not experienced intercultural relationship myself, but I think this is a very meaningful thing, no matter the ending is good or bad. Making friends with people from different regions and cultures can give you a deeper and more real sense of other cultures. Communication between different cultures can make people more aware of the differences between different cultures. Only by knowing where the differences are can they avoid misunderstandings as much as possible, and people between different cultures can also live in peace. Of course, the most important thing for intercultural communication is to be patient, honest, and respectful. This is not only limited to the relationship between men and women, but also between friends. Different cultures can cause many misunderstandings. If you are impatient to explain and respect, then you may lose an important friend.
      我自己还没有经历过跨国文化的交往,但我觉得这一个十分有意义的事情,不管结局是好是坏。与不同地域文化的人做朋友可以让你了解到其他文化更深入和更加真实的一面。不同文化之间的交流可以让人更加知道不同文化之间的差异,只有知道了差异在哪里,才能够尽量地不会产生误解,不同文化之间的人们也可以和平相处。当然,跨文化交流最重要的就是要耐心、坦诚和尊重,这不仅仅限于男女关系之间,朋友之间也要如此。不同文化会造成许多误解,如果不耐心解释和尊重,那么就有可能会失去一位重要的朋友。

      —– Soleilin

    • #4911 Score: 3
      Wan Sisi
      参与者
      17 pts

      I think it is would be interesting to make friends in different culture. In the one hand, we can learned different culture in different countries, In the other hand, we can spread the culture of our country to others, it is meaningful. Besides, we should respect different culture when we talk with foreign classmates, because different countries actually have different culture, each culture is valuable.
      我认为结交不同文化背景的朋友会很有趣。一方面,我们可以了解不同国家的不同文化,另一方面,我们可以将我们国家的文化传播给其他国家的人,这是有意义的。此外,在与外国同学交谈时,我们应该尊重不同的文化,因为不同的国家实际上有不同的文化, 每种文化都是很珍贵的。
      –Wan Sisi(Celia)

    • #4915 Score: 1
      Charlotte Sun
      参与者
      28 pts

      I don’t have intercultural relationship experience but I find a website which have some useful tips. Based on this website, there are five points:
      Stay true to your own identity; Celebrate the differences; Discuss where you will live; Don’t expect your partner to change for you; and Don’t underestimate the role of extended family.
      我没有跨文化关系的经历,但是我发现了一个网站,其中包含一些有用的提示。 根据此网站,有五个要点:忠于自己的身份;庆祝差异;讨论您将居住的地方;不要指望您的伴侣会为您而改变;并且不要低估大家庭的作用。

      https://medium.com/@jasmine.abraham/intercultural-relationships-5-tips-to-consider-from-the-start-202614d00c51

      Charlotte Sun

    • #5096 Score: 0
      karida deng
      参与者

      I think all kinds of software are globalizing now. We can all get in touch with people abroad and people of different colors. Cross-cultural chats and even love experiences are unavoidable. I think it’s important to find the right website

      我觉得现在各种软件都在全球化。我们都可以跟国外的人,不同肤色的人取得联系。跨文化的聊天甚至是恋爱经历也是不可以避免的。我觉得找对网站很重要

      http://www.baidu.com/baidu.php?url=000000j0xnZgmfstWpgeVooIWSYeVHT_gEWxoqnfMauWBhsoGKU1Z-

      karida deng

    • #5383 Score: 0
      Anastasia
      参与者

      I don’t have experience about intercultural relationship. However, building intercultural relationship has challenges. I find a website which introduces several challenges about building intercultural relationships.我没有跨文化关系的经验。但是,建立跨文化关系存在挑战。我找到一个网站,其中介绍了建立跨文化关系方面的若干挑战。
      Here is the link: https://www.bsu.edu/campuslife/counselingcenter/additionalservices/diversityresources/diversityinformationandlinks/challengesofinterculturalrelationships

      —– Anastasia Wang

    • #5589 Score: 0
      Trump
      参与者

      Once one of my friend find a boyfriend from Russia. At first they were so happy together, but their values were so different. My friend is a traditional Chinese while her boyfriend had more than 10 ex-girlfriends. Due to cultural difference, her boyfriend did not keep distance with his female friends. Thus, finally, they broke up.

      Trump

    • #5740 Score: 0
      zhanjial
      参与者

      Intercultural communication is a process in which people with different cultural backgrounds engage in communication. In fact, each person is culturally unique, so any communication between two people is intercultural communication, except that the extent of this is more pronounced when communicating with foreigners. There are definitely differences between two people who get along, and that’s what makes them different. In fact, the culture of boys and the culture of girls are very different, and both usually think about issues differently, so they can only understand and tolerate each other.
      跨文化交际是具有不同文化背景的人从事交际的过程。其实每个人在文化上都是独特的,所以任何两个人之间的交际都是跨文化交际,只不过在和外国人交流的时候这种程度更明显。两个人相处肯定会有不同的地方,这就是了他们的不同点。实际上,男生文化和女生文化就很不一样,两者通常对问题的思考也不一样,所以只能互相理解,互相包容了。

      Captain

    • #5920 Score: 0
      Anastasia
      参与者

      Although I have not had much intercultural experience, I can imagine that cross-cultural communication can create a lot of conflicts because we always have a stereotype when communicating with people from different cultures. therefore, we should not be influenced by the stereotype when dealing with intercultural relationships.
      虽然我没有太多的跨文化经历,但是我能想象到跨文化的沟通会产生许多的矛盾,因为我们在与来自不同文化背景的人沟通时总会抱有刻板印象。因此,在处理跨文化关系时,我们不应该被刻板印象影响。

      —– Anastasia Wang

    • #5921 Score: 0
      Anastasia
      参与者

      Since I mentioned before, stereotype would impact your intercultural relationships, thus, we’d better deal with this and had better experiences. Here is a website shows the terrifying of stereotypes and tips of deal with stereotypes.
      由于我之前提到过,刻板印象会影响你的跨文化关系,因此,我们会更好地处理这个问题,有更好的经验。这里有一个网站显示了刻板印象的可怕和处理刻板印象的技巧。

      Link: https://theconversation.com/the-terrifying-power-of-stereotypes-and-how-to-deal-with-them-101904

      —– Anastasia Wang

    • #7323 Score: 0
      COAllen
      参与者

      Actually, I do not have the experiences with intercultural relationships, but it is very important for us who want to study abroad, We should seek common ground while reserving differences, cherish this opportunity to contact friends from different cultures, and respect their cultures as well as our own. At the same time, we need to know their culture before contacting people of different cultures, so as to avoid many misunderstandings and embarrassments.

      其实我并没有跨文化交往的经验,但是对于我们这些想要出国留学的人来说,求同存异是非常重要的,珍惜这个接触不同文化的朋友的机会,尊重他们的文化,也尊重我们自己的文化。同时,在接触不同文化的人之前,我们需要了解他们的文化,以避免许多误解和尴尬。

      COAllen

    • #7332 Score: 0
      LoganY
      参与者

      去年夏天,我和几位赞比亚的外国朋友一起参加夏令营做导师。我认为这是一段美好的经历,我们和孩子一起睡一起吃一起住,陪着他们一起学,除了和营员建立了良好的关系,我还和外国导师们拥有了美好的回忆。他们是一群热情的友好的人,让我很想去那个国家旅游。
      Last summer, I attended a summer camp as a mentor with a few foreign friends from Zambia. I think it was a wonderful experience. We slept and ate with the kids, lived with them, learned with them, and in addition to building a good relationship with the campers, I also had great memories with the foreign mentors. They are a warm and friendly group of people that made me want to travel to that country.

      By LoganY

    • #8443 Score: 0
      Xuexizhe
      参与者

      When I was traveling in Australia the year before last, I had a two-week relationship with the host of the host family. She is a old kind lady. I learned about the local host culture. Maybe you will stay in a complete family, living with the owner or children in the family, or maybe you will stay in an elderly home and the children of the elderly will work outside. At the same time, I also experienced the local weekend life. On the top of the mountains in Brisbane, people leisurely enjoyed the beautiful scenery and afternoon tea. This slow-paced life is very different from China.
      前年我在澳洲旅行的时候和寄宿家庭的主人有过两周的交往,我了解了关于当地寄宿的文化。可能你会寄宿在一个完整的家庭,和家庭里的主人或者孩子生活,也可能你寄宿在一个老人家,老人的儿女在外工作。同时我也体验了当地的周末生活,在布里斯班的群山之巅,人们悠闲的享受着美丽的风景和下午茶。这种慢速节奏的生活和中国有着很大差别。
      Xuexizhe

    • #9280 Score: 0
      Bella Guo
      参与者

      2019年的夏天,我去韩国做了45天的志愿者,伙伴们来自于26个国家。其中有一个来自拉脱维亚的大哥,他讲英语的语速非常快,我一开始很怕跟他讲话。后面我发现他的口语都很浅显、用的单词都很简单。(他会三国语言)。他也很照顾我,会降低语速。我们后来变成了好朋友。
      In the summer of 2019, I went to Korea to volunteer for 45 days, with partners from 26 countries. One of them came from Latvian. He spoke English very fast. I was afraid to talk to him at first. Later, I found that his spoken English is very simple, and the words used are very simple. (He can speak three languages.) He also took good care of me and slowed down his speaking speed. We became good friends later.

    • #9530 Score: 0
      wku1098132
      参与者

      In the summer of 2019, I went to Malaysia to volunteer for more than two months with partners from different countries, including Indonesia, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, and so on. There were both native English speakers and second language learners like us. They were all very friendly and easy to understand as long as they didn’t speak very fast. For cross-cultural communication, we should first respect each other’s culture. For example, girls from Indonesia believe in Islam, they will cover their hair with turbans, they will pray every day, and they can’t eat pork. Besides, more communication can solve a lot of problems.
      2019年的夏天,我去马来西亚做了两个多月的志愿者,伙伴们来自不同的国家,包括印度尼西亚,斯里兰卡,台湾等。其中既有英语母语者,也有跟我们同样的英语第二语言学习者,他们都非常友好,只要语速不是很快,日常口语都非常简单易懂。对于跨文化关系交流,首先要尊重对方的文化。例如,来自印度尼西亚的女生信仰伊斯兰教,她们会用头巾包裹住她们的头发,她们每天会做祷告,也不能吃猪肉。另外,多多沟通交流能解决很多问题。

    • #9714 Score: 0
      Yurihan
      参与者

      初中时期我去过英国,在那里有过一些跨文化关系。
      印象比较深刻的有以下两件事:
      一位巴西朋友经常想要和我们进行贴面礼,我的上海朋友一般会热情接受,但我就不太愿意。我觉得这可能与生活习惯以及对外开放的程度有关。
      另一件事是一对葡萄牙情侣在校园内的亲密举动引起了中国学生的私下议论。因为他们当时都才十四五岁,我们感到非常诧异。我认为这和教育差异有关。
      When I was in junior high school, I went to England and had some cross-cultural relations there.
      The following two things impressed me deeply:
      A Brazilian friend often wanted to give us a face-to-face gift. My Shanghai friends generally accepted it warmly, but I was not willing to. I thought it may have something to do with living habits and the degree of opening to the outside world.
      The other thing was that the intimacy of a Portuguese couple on campus caused private discussion among Chinese students. Because they were only 14 or 15 years old, we were very surprised. I thought it had something to do with educational differences.
      Yurihan

    • #9731 Score: 0
      roey
      参与者

      我有一个马来西亚的朋友,她是一个高中小女生。她的性格十分开朗,并且很健谈。和她一起聊天让我感觉到快乐和放松。我们互相分享生活,她也说等到疫情结束,就会来中国旅游。
      I have a friend from Malaysia. She is a high school girl. She is very cheerful and talkative. Chatting with her makes me feel happy and relaxed. We share our lives with each other. She also said that when the epidemic is over, we will travel to China.

      Roey

    • #9756 Score: 0
      Bella Guo
      参与者

      我觉得自己很胖,不敢穿吊带。来自法国的朋友她觉得我很可爱,也不胖,应该更加自信。确实我在跟他们相处的过程中,更加爱笑,更加自信了。
      I dare not wear suspenders because I am fat. My friend from France thinks I’m cute and not fat and encourages me to be more confident. It’s true that in the process of getting along with her, I love to laugh more and feel more confident.
      Bella

    • #9757 Score: 0
      Bella Guo
      参与者

      我还认识一个马来西亚人,他的中文很好。他跟我说他读过孙子兵法。我感到震惊,因为我都没读过这本书。他说他学习中文,是因为中国的市场很大,希望以后能在中国工作。
      I also know a Malaysian whose Chinese is very good. He told me that he had read Sun Tzu’s art of war. I was shocked because I had never read the book. He said that he studied Chinese because of the huge market in China and hoped to work in China in the future.
      Bella

    • #9893 Score: 0
      Xiong Mingyang
      参与者

      After graduating from high school, I traveled freely in Japan for ten days, and I used to communicate with my enemies. From my personal experience, cross-cultural communication is really difficult. This difficulty is not only caused by language barriers, but also values, ways of doing things, and so on.

      我曾经在高中毕业后自由行在日本旅行了十天,并且凭借自己和当敌人进行交流。就我个人的体验来说,跨文化交流真的非常困难。这种困难并不单单是由语言隔阂所带来的,还有价值观,行事方式等等。

      These are some interesting experiences of other people about cultural differences:

      https://www.zhihu.com/question/22097381/answer/24650693

    • #9894 Score: 0
      Xiong Mingyang
      参与者

      After graduating from high school, I traveled freely in Japan for ten days, and I used to communicate with my enemies. From my personal experience, cross-cultural communication is really difficult. This difficulty is not only caused by language barriers, but also values, ways of doing things, and so on.

      我曾经在高中毕业后自由行在日本旅行了十天,并且凭借自己和当敌人进行交流。就我个人的体验来说,跨文化交流真的非常困难。这种困难并不单单是由语言隔阂所带来的,还有价值观,行事方式等等。

      These are some interesting experiences of other people about cultural differences:

      https://www.zhihu.com/question/22097381/answer/24650693

      Xiong Mingyang

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